


Burned Bridges

by HiddenViolet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Asexual Character, Coffee Shop Owner Dean Winchester, Fic and Art, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, asmb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 09:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenViolet/pseuds/HiddenViolet
Summary: Sam tries to reconnect with his older brother.





	Burned Bridges

**Author's Note:**

> This is my submission for the Asexual Supernatural Mini Bang and it is both my Art and my Fic.

Dean did not know what the hell he was thinking. Why had he thought that he could do this? Why? He couldn’t run his own business. He had barely made it with the mechanic stuff why did he think that he could open up and run a coffee shop? Why?

He bent over and began to take deep breaths. He couldn’t believe this. His opening day and he was having a panic attack.

“You are going to be fine Deano.” Dean turned to look at his business partner/best friend.

“Gabe, why did I think that I could do this? I don’t know anything about business and I certainly don’t know anything about attracting customers. I only know coffee. How will this ever work?” Gabriel raised and eyebrow at his words.

“You know the coffee, I know the business, that’s what we agreed on remember. You don’t need to know anything about business. All you have to do is smile at the customers and make them amazing coffee. Nothing else. I will deal with the rest.” Gabriel’s voice was smooth and comforting. Normally he would have teased the daylights out of Dean for his anxiety but this was too important to Dean. He needed to be reassured that everything was fine.

“You have come to far to back out now. The only way is forward.” These words were said from behind the two men and Gabriel and Dean both turned around. Castiel stood there holding several large boxes.

“Cassy! And you brought the pastries. Excellent. I will put these on display you go ahead and comfort your husband. We have things to do before we open so don’t take too long.” Gabriel took the boxes from his brother and skipped off. He hummed underneath his breath as he did so. Dean gave Castiel a weak smile and stepped closer to his husband.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed him chastely. Dean gave a sigh and sunk into the hug. He allowed himself the comfort of the man that he loved most in the world and then pulled back. He smiled at Castiel.

“I really needed that. Thanks. Also thanks for saying that you would do our pastries. You can’t have a coffee shop without pastries. It means a lot to me that you are here.”

“I am more than glad to be here with you. I know that this means everything to you. You and Gabriel have both worked so hard on this, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Shows over lovebirds. Time to get back to work. We need to be ready to go in less then an hour and you two can’t just be gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes like you are newlyweds. Chop Chop.” With that in mind Castiel returned to his bakery to get ready to open and Dean and Gabriel began moving like mad.

They needed to have everything cleaned, prepped and in place before they opened and the late construction because of water damage had left them with very little time to do so. They managed to finish with just a few minutes to spare. At seven on the dot, they unlocked the doors and began waiting for customers.

It was early in the morning so they weren’t expecting tons of customers. They had a fairly decent stream of them though. They had advertised non-stop about the opening and were in a good location. Foot traffic was really important with these kinds of places.

Around lunch time Gabriel took his break and went to go get something to eat. Their customers had slowed down quite a bit, most of the people needing their coffee fix in the mornings. Dean was working on the espresso machine, making sure that it was cleaned out and the filter in place.

He looked up as he heard the bell on the door jingle. His rehearsed response was on the tip of his tongue. The standard spiel about the coffee shop and being glad for the service. The words died in his throat when he caught sight of who was standing in the door way. Dean stared aghast for a moment and the man shifted uncomfortably.

“Hey Dean.”

“Really? Really? Hey Dean? That’s what you have to say to me. 6 years no contact, you leaving in the middle of the night with just a note and you have ‘Hey Dean’? What the hell do you want Sam?” Sam shifted uncomfortably again. It was obvious that he was a little bit at a loss for words.

“I saw one of your advertisements. I wanted to come congratulate you on the place. It looks really good.” Dean was struck silent. How was this even a thing?

“Well you have congratulated me. Thank you. Now, either order something or leave. I have work to do and paying customers to serve.” Sam looked at him for a moment and then turned around and left. Dean wanted to tell him to come back. To tell him they should meet up or something, but the words wouldn’t come out. Although Sam leaving was probably a sign that he didn’t want to be meeting up with him anyway. He couldn’t survive that again.

SPN

Sam pounded his head against the steering wheel in aggravation. He had been surprised by Dean’s anger. The last he remembered of his brother he was the doting older sibling that let Sam get away with a lot. He had had an entire speech planned about how he was sorry for leaving and never contacting him.

It had all gone out the window when face with his brother’s anger. It had never crossed his mind that perhaps Dean wouldn’t be completely on board with this plan. Never. Now he had to figure out how to get his brother back in his life. When he had done everything in his power to make sure that Dean would be out of it forever.

He couldn’t believe that he had just walked out like that though. He had been taken off guard and realized that he needed more than a half baked apology and a non-existent plan. It all seemed so complicated though.

The only thing that same knew though, was that he couldn’t give up. He couldn’t just run away this time not matter how much he really wanted to.

SPN

Dean was scrubbing the counter top angrily. To this moment he was still angry that Sam had come into the coffee shop. And even more angry that he had walked out with just a few harsh words. However his most prominent emotion was worry. Worry that he might have driven his brother away for the very last time. That this time it would be permanent. Although he had thought that last time as well.

“Gabe said that something upset you.” Dean turned to look at his husband and then went to him. He wrapped his arms around that ridiculous trench coat that Castiel always insisted on wearing and tried to stifle the tears.

“Sam came into the shop today while Gabe was at lunch. He said that he saw some advertisements and wanted to come congratulate me. I said some things and he left.” Castiel sighed lightly and began to stroke Dean’s head.

“I’m sure it wasn’t too much of a big deal. If he really wants you to be in his life, he will try again.” Dean smiled a bit at the fact that Castiel always seemed to know what it was that was bothering him, even with just a part of the story.

“I am so angry at him though. It has been so long and he probably never even thought about me. How could he just leave that way?” This time the tears really did leak out. Castiel thought for a moment.

“Perhaps he saw only one option. People do interesting things when they feel trapped. They make bad decisions thinking that there is no other way out. Maybe he is trying to make amends though, about him leaving that way.” Dean shrugged.

“Maybe. I’m not sure that I can deal with him in my life. So many changes and with the shop just open, it all feels like just a bit much. You know what I mean?”

“Yes, I do. But perhaps that is exactly the reason that you should allow him back in your life. He can come in during a time of flux and find the rhythm of his dynamic with you. How about we head home and have some dinner. A good meal and some sleep will help you with your perspective on this. You never know how the future will turn out. This could be a good thing.”

SPN

Sam came back at almost the same time he had the day before. Around noon, the coffee shop not showing a lot of signs of life. He wanted to catch his brother during a calm moment. This time, he had the beginning of plan. A very long complicated plan.

He went into the shop that day. He was surprised to see that behind the counter was not only his brother, but also a short, handsome, golden eyed man. Sam had a niggling feeling that he knew him. that he had either met him before or knew someone related to him. He ignored the feeling though. He was there to see his brother not play, who’s who with his coworker.

It seemed that the co-worker had been warned about who Sam was because there was a distinctive note of coolness in his voice. Despite that the man, Gabriel, took his order. It seemed that he wanted to get him out of the coffee shop because he made the drink quickly and had him pay right away. Despite that Sam was determined to wait around for Dean.

It only took about 10 minutes before Dean was entering the front of the coffee shop from the back, tying an apron around his waist. He looked up to scan the place and his eyes landed on Sam. His expression was inscrutable. Gabriel leaned over him for a moment and whispered in his ear. Dean looked a little hesitant but Gabriel nudged him and he approached Sam.

Sam took a deep breath and swore to himself that he wasn’t going to lose his temper this time. He was just going to have a decent conversation with his brother. Dean pulled out a chair and sat at Sam’s table. The two of them sat in silence for a moment before Dean went ahead and cleared his throat.

“What are you doing here Sam? What are you actually doing here?” Sam gathered his thoughts for a moment before responding.

“I have wanted to contact you for a while. But I lost your contact information a few years ago. I tried asking Bobby but he said that he wasn’t willing to put you through more of what happened. He said that if I really wanted to get in touch that I would find you myself. I tried. I really did. But you were always the one that was better at that kind of thing. It wasn’t until I saw the advertisement that I figured out where you were. I decided that I wanted to come and see you still.”

Dean was silent for a moment. Thinking back on the past years of hurt and anger. The warmth he felt that Bobby was protecting him, even from his brother. All of the words. All of the things that he desperately wanted to say. Instead there was only one thing that came out of his mouth, the thing that had been weighing on his mind for years.

“Why didn’t you come to my wedding?” Sam sighed at the question and scrubbed a hand over his face. That was the million dollar question.

“My fiancé at the time suggested that it probably wasn’t going to last and that there was no point in me missing out on my best friend’s 25 birthday. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I regret it every single day. You have to believe me on that.”

“I need to get back to work. I’ll see you later.”

SPN

“He went to a fucking birthday party rather then our wedding!” Castiel rubbed a hand on Dean’s back as he regaled his husband with the details of the conversation.

“I know that it hurts, but people make mistakes. You told me that he admitted that it was a mistake. He at the very least acknowledges that he did wrong. Some people would just have acted like it never happened. Now, don’t let it ruin date night. I have the roast in the oven and the potatoes being warmed. Why don’t we just enjoy our evening and the celebration of your new place opening?”

Dean gave Cas a soppy smile and kissed him lightly on the lips. Castiel then pressed a kiss on the ring on Dean’s hand and headed towards the kitchen. Dean followed after him, wondering what he was going to do about the Sam situation. He really had no idea.

SPN

“So, you got married to a man. I never really pegged you as gay Dean.” Dean gave Sam a droll look and continued tidying up.

“If you were there you would have known that Castiel and I are queer platonic partners. We don’t do romance or sexual attraction. We are…” here Dean reached for a word, “partners.” He eventually decided on. That seemed like a good enough description. Worked with his label too. Sam looked surprised at that.

“You’re ace? What about all those girls in high school that you were with. You had a different date every weekend.” Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother.

“You can have and enjoy sex even if you aren’t attracted to anyone. They aren’t mutually exclusive. Excuse me, I need to go back to work.”

SPN

Sam sighed and flopped down onto the couch. Three times he had seem his brother, and three times he had majorly screwed it up. He just couldn’t seem to keep from putting his foot in his mouth. No matter how much of an effort he made.

At the very least his plan was working a little bit. He had spoken to Dean twice now and it had gone well. Until he put his foot in his mouth of course but until then things were good. Dean seemed to be most upset about him leaving in the middle of the night and not saying anything and not going to his wedding despite the effort gone into inviting him.

“It will be fine. He will eventually come around and realize that you are being completely genuine. You just need to give him a little time and some space. What you did was pretty bad and he is allowed to be angry.” Sam thought on his boyfriend’s words for a moment and then nodded.

“I just want to have a proper relationship with him now. I want to have my big brother back. The one who always made me mac and cheese and cleaned up my scrapes. The one who used to go hungry for me.” Sam’s voice went soft at the end.

Luke gave a sad smile. He hated the way that Sam had been raised. The neglect and the horrible conditions. It was at such odds to his own childhood. One that had been deeply religious but very loving. Even now his brothers were willing to forgive him for what happened and take him back. Despite the horrible things he had done.

There were days where Luke wondered how Dean had ever gotten through. Sam, he knew. Sam had Dean looking after him and taking care of him. The one who was always making sure that he was fed and clothed. He was being the parent. Dean, Dean didn’t have that though.

Luke always wondered how that must have felt when Sam left. Luke was also an older brother. The eldest actually, of 9 children. If one of his siblings, especially one he raised, took off in the middle of the night without telling him he would have been furious. And worried. And wondering what he did that was so wrong.

That was the reason that he did his very best to keep Sam within the boundaries of reality. To remind him that he was the one at fault in this situation. He would never be able to fix his relationship with his brother if he refused to take responsibility.

SPN

Dean was beginning to look forward to seeing Sam inside the shop. Always at the same time. Thankfully he had picked a time where they weren’t really busy so that they could actually have a conversation. Things were beginning to air that should have been discussed when they were teenagers. It was really good.

He was still angry that Sam hadn’t shown up to his wedding though.

Today Dean was looking forward to more so than the others. Sam had met Castiel several times already. Castiel’s deliveries bringing him to the shop most days. Today though, today was the day that he was going to meet Sam’s boyfriend.

This was a different person from his former fiancé. Apparently the two of them hadn’t worked out when Sam realized that she was manipulative and abusive. Now he was with a man and Dean was going to be able to meet him today.

He spent most of the morning glancing at the clock. When it finally came time for Gabriel and Castiel to go to lunch he nearly pushed them out the door. They wished him luck and he set himself the task of doing the never ending job of cleaning. He was vacuuming up coffee grounds when he heard the bell jingle and watched as Sam and a strange man came into the shop. Dean wiped his hands on his apron and went to greet his brother’s boyfriend.

SPN

Luke was panicking, so hard. He recognized Sam’s brother the minute that they walked into the coffee shop. The minute. Not because he was Sam’s brother, but because he was Luke’s brother in law. Dean was married to Castiel. Luke had been in the back of their ceremony and slipped out before the reception but he knew who that was.

Dean didn’t seem to realize who he was though. Probably because he hadn’t seen him during the wedding. He was panicking so hard that he didn’t even hear the other man come in. It wasn’t until Gabriel came over to see how things were going and introduce himself to what had to be Sam’s boyfriend that he did.

“Hi! I’m Gabriel you must be…” Here Gabriel trailed off suddenly recognizing Luke. Luke gave his younger brother a strained smile. This was not how he wanted to have a reunion. Gabriel looked between Sam and Luke for a minute just gaping at what he was seeing. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. At all. Here was his eldest brother apparently the boyfriend of his youngest brother’s husband’s brother.

“Luke. What the hell are you doing?”

“Look Gabriel I can explain. I swear I can. Things are a little complicated that’s all. Sam and I have been together for a while. I just came to support him while he was having the discussion with his brother. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or screw anything up. I didn’t even realize that Sam’s Dean and Castiel’s Dean were the same person.”

“I don’t care about any of that! What I care about is the fact that it took you having to support your boyfriend during a discussion to come see my new coffee shop! You haven’t visited in here at all! You are the eldest brother you should be supporting me in my endeavor.” The other three men stared at Gabriel.

Dean and Luke being accustomed to Gabriel’s mixed priorities just rolled their eyes and moved on. Sam seemed completely baffled by it. Gabriel, not getting the response he wanted stomped to the back area. The three of them sat in silence together for a moment just processing the weirdness that had just happened.

“So, you’re Castiel’s eldest brother. You skipped out of the reception.” This was said as a statement.

“I didn’t really want to cause a scene. Michael and I still aren’t on speaking terms and at that point we were on beating each other’s faces in terms. Didn’t think you deserved to have your special day ruined like that.” There was another silence as Luke thought back on the wedding. Dean had had almost nobody there for his side.

They had decided to not to the sides of the church because that would have been ridiculous. Ana had told him later that the only people that showed up for Dean were a few of his friends and his uncle Bobby. Luke remembered thinking at the time how horrible it had to have been to not have your family there. To have your own flesh and blood not be there on the happiest day of your life. He kind of wanted to take Dean’s side in this.

“At least you went to the wedding itself.”

SPN

After the horribly embarrassing realization that Sam and Dean were with a set of brothers, their next meeting was destined to be awkward. Despite that after a few minutes they had gotten back into their rhythm. It wasn’t that surprising though. They had been very close as children. So close in fact that they had often shared a bed, even when they didn’t need to.

They were well on their way to having a good relationship again. There was something that needed to be ironed out though before that happened.

The night that Sam left.

It had been such an aching sore spot in Dean’s life for so long. It had done nothing but fester and bleed for all of the years where they weren’t speaking to each other. It was not a coffee shop talk. It was a dark, gritty disgusting bar like the ones that Dean used to go shark games of pool at, talk.

They were settled in a far back booth. One that was sticky from years of spilled beers and lax waitresses. There had to be this discussion but that didn’t mean they had to have it without alcohol. Sam was sipping at a beer while Dean had gone straight for whisky. He knew that this was going to be a painful talk and he was going to medicate before and after.

“The day you left was the worst day of my entire life. I swear to God Sam. You have no idea what that did to me. No idea.”

“Then tell me. Tell me what happened after and what you felt. Let me know how it was.” Dean thought for a moment and then took a deep breath.

“I woke up to your note. I knew that you were long gone by then. No chance of catching up to you. Plus Dad was getting back that day and I knew it was better to wait around for him then to chase after you. God, Sam, he was so angry. I have never seen him so angry. Never in my life. I think you are old enough to know what really happened that day.

“He told me that it was my fault. That I was the reason that you were gone. It was my fault for not stopping you. My fault for not keeping you there with us. Then he through me out. Out of the apartment, out of his life, out of contact. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

“How would I have known that was going to happen? I didn’t. I never meant for that to happen, never.”

“You had to know that I would blame myself. I raised you Sam. I gave you everything that I could. You were my everything, and you walked out the door like I didn’t even matter to you! Like I was nothing! Then Dad goes and tell me what you basically said when you left. That I am nothing. Well you want to know what the two of you did to me? I tried to commit suicide.”

Sam sat there stunned. He had never imagined that Dean would have been so hurt by what had happened. But why wouldn’t he be? He had raised Sam. He was more of a father to him then their dad. And he had treated him like he really was nothing.

“I want to know everything that happened.”

SPN

Sam hadn’t ever imagined the way that this was going to go. He had stepped into that coffee shop believing that he would be able to repair his relationship with his brother. That much was true, they were repairing the damage that he had done.

Nothing could have prepared him though, for the story of what had happened after he left. Of how Dean so unbelievably alone had tried to take his own life. Of the week in the hospital where it took a persistent nurse to convince Dean to call Bobby. Nothing could have prepared him.

After the talk at the bar Sam had stumbled home trying to figure out what he could do to make up for it. What he could do to make it all better and he was drawing a blank. He wearily unlocked the door and dragged himself inside. The talk had left him drained and upset so he wasn’t firing on all cylinders. He allowed himself to fall into the waiting arms of Luke who hugged him close and kissed his cheek.

“Did you know what happened?” The question was muffled by Luke’s neck where Sam had tucked his head but it was still audible.

“I knew some of it. Cas wanted us to know a little about Dean’s history so that we could avoid bringing up any painful memories.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sam pulled back from Luke’s neck to look at his boyfriend. Luke gave a little sigh, not sure how to answer the question. That was a loaded answer.

“Sam, that was a story for Dean to tell you. I didn’t know all the details so I didn’t really feel like I was qualified to tell you. He has a right to let you know or not. Take your pick. It’s a combination of all three. Despite all that has happened and despite knowing both of you, I was not the person to tell you what happened all those years ago. I am far from it.”

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. He sunk his head back into Luke’s neck and gave a weary sigh. It had been a stressful few weeks and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. He knew that he just needed to power through it, but he was only human and he was tired.

“Come on Luke, lets go to bed. We can deal with all of this in the morning. Besides, I think that we mostly have things ironed out. With the exception of the wedding mess.” Luke nodded and the two of them made their way to bed.

SPN

The coffee shop was doing really well. They were getting ready to bring on more employees, which would hopefully mean that they get more time to themselves. It also meant that Dean had more time to try and hash things out with Sam. He was doing his very best to make things work but there was still something that kept weighing on him.

This was a conversation for the coffee shop. Because although it actually held more resentment then when Sam had left, it hadn’t ended nearly as bad. Although Dean was still very angry about it.

“You told me that piss ass excuse for not coming to my wedding. You told me about the girlfriend that kept you from going and now you are going to sit there and listen to what I have to say. This is really important and I won’t have you messing it up.” Dean took a sip of his cappuccino.

“I spent months planning that wedding. Cas has a really big family and all of them wanted to come so I knew that it was going to be large. At first I hated it, but then I started to like it. Started to get excited about it really happening. I also spent a week and a half locating your address to find you.” Sam looked as though he was going to say something but Dean stopped him.

“I wanted you to come so badly. I desperately wanted you to come. When I didn’t get a reply I called you and you didn’t answer. Then Cas called you, and you didn’t answer. Then Bobby called you and you didn’t answer. I asked one thing of you Sam. One thing in your entire life, and you blow me off. That day was supposed to be the happiest of my life. A day of total perfection and now whenever I think about it I think about the fact that you weren’t there. The happiest day of my life will forever be tainted by the fact that you thought that it wasn’t worth your time.”

“I can only say that I am sorry Dean. That it was a massive mistake. Possibly the worst that I have ever made and I have made a lot of mistakes. I should have come and I didn’t and that is inexcusable. I have treated you horribly and all I can do is be better in the future and hope that you will eventually forgive me.” Dean gave a really heavy sigh.

“I will always forgive you Sammy. Always. You are my little brother and family and family is everything. We really did need to have this talk though didn’t we?” Sam gave a watery chuckle.

“Yeah we did. So, we can move forward? Rebuild our relationship? Double date with Cas and Luke?” Dean laughed.

“Well those first two are definitely a go. Although I’m not sure how I feel about the third. Couples dates really aren’t my thing. I suppose that I could give it a try though.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, Kudos or come find me on Tumblr at angsty-violet.


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